Modern Skepticism with a Pinch of Hodgepodge

I've always been a skeptic, questioning everything to the point that I could never truly define an answer to all of life's mysteries. Perhaps that's why I've always had a problem joining up with a cult, or a religion, because the ideas and assumptions I've come up with always seemed far more interesting than what we novelty paperback the latter were selling. I always imagined I'd discover the fathoms beyond this galaxy, and piece together authentic assumptions that came from both research and imagination. If you could understand the magnitude of how awesome it would be to become an authentic futurist, the you would see why I've always shined towards epic Science Fiction. These intelligent minds, many of them having higher degrees than most scientist at the time, were able to spellbound us with intense theories of the impossible, garnishing myths from olden days, and bring concise logistics to a world unraveling from the monsters and the shadows. Replacing our religions with facts and wonder, so a new history is written in the digital information superhighway. Nevertheless, I'm still a skeptic, one who would rather never choose a right path than ever be forsaken for making a wrong decision. The irony of all this is I've made piss-poor decisions ever since because I refuse to settle. Yet the sad thing in life, and one I'm wise enough to see, is that I understand time, disease, and my personal mortality will hinder me from playing "college freshman" into my late sixties. So skepticism could be one of my fatal flaws, but it falls far below greater factors like enjoying peanut butter cups. Whatever, you see I believe that we all believe we have a greater calling in life, but none of those callings ever tell us to be he best damn custodian the world has to offer! It's always bigger aspirations, not just a menial job with menial pay. So when I look at the past, towards Science Fiction writers that have paved roads built out of fiber optics and space elevators, I find myself wondering "am I to be a great Science Fiction writer? Or am I going to redefine the genre altogether? It's always what am I going to do, not what am I doing. You ever notice that were always planning ahead, while missing all opportunities today? As a writer who has published more blogs than anything else relevant, on a blog site for that matter (no offense to Blogger, which was the first, and possibly the best current blog site out there) but I am a peon just like every upstart. The problem being I'm in my late twenties, and just saying that bothers the shit out of me! Where was my wild youth? More like a mild burn, not some uncontrollable wildfire! Is 27 too young to have a midlife crisis? Then again, I've been a crotchety old man since I turned 13. Maybe it's just me are the 4 words that answers all following questions, statements, and arguments. I'm trying to say that I've always questioned, asked critical questions, and followed all that BS they tell you in class from kindergarten, up to your first full office sensitive training. Listen, if you were too thick-headed to learn to respect everyone in pre-school, you're going to be too thick to get it post grad. Some people are un-reachable. That's why I question everything I was taught, everything I've ever loved, and known; and that's why I'm a complete and utter failure (thus far) in life. I'm sure there are other factors that are both of my own, and out of my control, but I do believe the pity parties about my failures end when I have my first big success. So why is it that I cannot settle, why am I always trying to fill sophomoric knowledge into a hole that resides always so unfulfilled deep inside me? Why must I always search for something better, yet never even obtain mediocrity? I must sound like a depressed teenager that is hoping to discover their soul at some Ivy League so I can escape the reality of personal failure. The "college campus mindset." Maybe I'm self deprecating, maybe I'm a procrastinator. Perhaps I'm just someone who happens to think everything sucks, so I can attempt (pass or fail) towns something not suck as much. I have limitless possibilities, mostly when I'm defying everyone else, but just like the life choices we all love with, my best bet is to hopefully reproduce, and do better for my children so they don't wind up like me. Sad when I have to admit that, but that too is merely hypothetical. Granted, we all make mistakes, and the great thing about this country is that we can pick ourselves back up even when we filed chapter 11. Even the likes of Bernie Madoff will be allowed to work again, fooling even more ignorant people out of their money, because we are all liars, thieves, and disillusioned custodians. Yet, we all want to be richer, smarter, sexier, and we all want it with the littlest effort. We always believe what we have to work with is not necessarily what we have to love with, and with cosmetics, medicine, and cutthroat tactics, we all believe we'll just move up the corporate ladder. Some do, but most do not, but that's who we are. With me, I'm always going to question, and I'm always going to make those around me very, very uncomfortable. However, be it through tenacity, obsession, hell, be it through pure insanity, I know my influences will help me shape my writing career either into a loser, or a breadwinner, which inherently means I'll be crushing someone else's dreams as well. Remember your survival means the potential demise of someone else. Hence social Darwinism, which is still very much in affect today. So don't feel bad, which was never my intent with this post, but realize that I will have to compete with your sons,daughters, wives, and husbands for a spot on the employment line, and in life, and either I will win, or I will lose, but know that in this rat race we call life, everyone eventually loses. So I'll leave you all with a chipper thought, something that will make you feel better about yourself, and give you faith in humanity again: We all will die, but because our bodies contain more molecules and atoms that exist in the entire known Universe, you are most likely a vessel for life to exist from all far reaches of time and space. So even when you're just dust, your existence allowed for galaxies to be born and live independent of yourself. Just by existing: you brought forth life that will expand for eternity. Forever you will be a parent, even after your whole family line ceases to exist. Be thankful to be alive, there is always a bigger picture, and our survival is not nearly as important as existing even for a moment on this Earth. So remember that you are not just an island of a man/woman, but you are an entire universe wrapped in meat, held together by tendons, and structured with bone. That alone makes you important, sure it doesn't pay the bIlls but Its something to ruminate on, and makes life all-the-more intriguing. Thank you for reading the Malacast Editorial. Twitter: twitter.com/mcasteditorial or @mcasteditorial E-Mail: mcasteditorial@yahoo.com. As always, thank you for the constant support, to all my international readers, thank you for listening to the crazy ram kings of an American with too much time on their hands. Thanks to everyone, foreign and domestic supporting this blog, which would not be with doing without your interest. 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