"Postal" the movie has finally; after about two years, come to America. The very bad, terribly acted,written,directed film is perhaps as ungodly a production as say Hercules vs the Moon Men, or Santa Claus vs the Martians, or whatever the hell that movie was called. Uwe Boll spent less time on this film than I did writing this blog post. Hold on, let me explain: Postal, and more popularly known, Postal 2 is/are a video game franchise that is created by the studio Running with Scissors. The game is loosely based on satire, both social and political, and is sort of a big old middle finger to the Jack Thompsons of the world, which is fine if done with some respect to the gamers. Postal the game is mindless violence for the thinking man, and in-turn history will pay it some debt for its societal message, which is that life is all a game, but the reset button has been hacked out of the console: Play at your own risk. Now, Postal the movie is a wee-bit different, in that it not only has much to do with the game (Boll almost makes the references to the real game seem like a thirty page exam he half-assed to get the C+) and in that case, is more a movie about Uwe Boll, than about Postal. Now, I actually like Uwe Boll, in that he has sort of an Ed Wood style, the man is obviously educated, but he downplays himself because he understands the common man and is not a stuck-up asshole, but he is a self-righteous asshole at times, and tries to play it cool. The man can take the shit in laymen's terms, but I give him credit for not giving me the same fabricated bullshit movie that hollywood puts out year-after year. This is the sort of movie i wish I saw in theaters, I could see the crowd, who if they already know the concept, are fans that would be laughing along at the inside jokes. If I said this was Boll's best films, I'd not be saying much, but this is the sort of movie you watch not looking for some bullshit Oscar award, but for the fact it's a fun ride, and it's pitifully stupid. Uwe Boll is the most hated director, who is pretty much conning the German government into giving him money for more stupid films just to get back, making a point that if these college punks can make noir film that people call deep, when it's really brown-stained mustard over mumbling, while Hollywood makes films that are all flash explosions and fake tears, he's trying to be real.
As a gamer, this was an outrage, but as a smart-ass, I get what Boll's doing, playing everyone for a fool (which I can admire) and laughing all the way to the bank/beating the piss out of critics.
The movie: yeah, plot is simple, the Postal Dude, or simply the Dude has a cheating harlot for a wife, and is an overall tool. He can't find a decent job, and the one job interview we see him go to is in a small office, with a fat woman, and a nut-case boss that has heads on pikes in the room. I swear, I cannot make this shit up, oh, and then he has to sign the company's flag song, which is hilarious. The Dude then goes to meet his crazy uncle that is the leader of a cult, who worship what is written in Dave's Bible, it's called Dave's Bible....how the hell do you come up with this??? I mean Uwe Boll must've read like a short synopsis on wikipedia to make this damn film, damn! I swear, if Alone in the Dark 2 is going to happen, or worst: Far Cry, I really am going to shit my pants. I'm so glad that it's all a joke, and that Boll is doing it to piss gamers off, but come on man, am I suppose to believe that you don't take yourself seriously with your films? You're suppose to be a gag satirist, instead you come off like a douche-bag, but better to be a douche than a scum bag I suppose. See, satire is a thin line between genius and holy-shit-I'm-so-full-of-myself-I'd-fuck-my-clone-and-buy-it-a-three-course-dinner-afterwards asshole. Boll tries to pull a Kaufman on us and make us think he's actually a nice guy, but in-truth, he's just a copy of the masters, but Postal is enjoyable, if you're into musing.
I'd name the actors in the film, but I'm afraid they'd be embarrassed, so I'm just going to say they're B-list, but they're even in shock that they're on the fucking set! Oh, and Boll, I did find it funny how you said that you're money was funded by Nazi gold, perhaps the only thing close to a joke in the film, but if you want to actually shock someone, say that in a real interview, and not make Postal a shit film.
So pretty much, if you saw this film, you're probably blogging like I am and making a big fuss how this was not what you'd expected, but one aspect I have to pay homage to Boll for is that, despite the shitty ability to make the movie like the game, the way he directed Postal, it was like a video game, where it was obnoxiously, hilariously violent, and it was cartoonish as hell, so it was fun at the end, but most movie-goers would not get the joke if they're not also gamers. So I submit to you this: Postal is a good film if you're in the mood for something on the lighter side of an abomination film, and it's shock, but living in this generation, not much really to shock me with, so sorry Boll, I was not shocked at all, more sick of the cliches. So Uwe Boll, if you want to chastise Hollywood productions for the same bullshit film, try not to be a hypocrite and do the same.
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