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Wednesday, March 02, 2016

Why Cena Sucks



John Cena is a heel wrestler that is pushed to be a baby face. If you're a fan of WWE, you are forced to know who John Cena is, and most wrestling afficianados are either huge fans of him, and see him as the face of the business, which is sadly more truth than blown smoke, but he's sadly forced to be the five-trick pony. For fans, your talent is beyond the microphone. 
  I personally despise John Cena, I think the guy is a huge scumbag that really has no respect for anyone, and is one of the worst things to happen to Professional Wrestling. Could you imagine a world without John Cena? It would be a far better field of talent, because so many held back by his ridiculous mess of a shit-show. Granted, even the likes of Brock Lesnar could have filled the void, and many other talents that were never given a fair push, like Dolph Ziggler, who is now a joke in the eyes of most, would've grown beyond gimmick, and showcased that talent that makes him a hard worker. 
   The case against John Cena is mostly Vince McMahan's  fault, because Cena can showcase his talents,mbut quite frankly to make him seem as indestructible as he is, and his terrible ability to sell that he's even had that Cena armor chipped, are the same qualities that so many complain about Roman Reigns, and others who simply don't sell pain. 
   Most people can't stand Cena, and realistically, he doesn't deserve a spot in the WWE Hall of Fame, because that should go to those who deserve it. Now before it sounds like I've not come prepared to state the qualities behind why I believe this man is not just overrated, but pushed to be the big thing, almost so we are as fans brainwashed into believing he's the best talent out there, let's look at the facts:
  1) moves do matter, and it seems every wrestler today is forced to do a handful of moves, and leave the tradition of wreslting behind, like they're pandering to a bunch of people born-yesterday. Cena sells tickets, but why? Because he does five distinct move, barely that make it easier to resonate with when you're still shitting directly into a diaper. The "five knuckle shuffle" a euphemism for masturbating by-the-way, the F-U and the STFU now called the Attitude Adjustment and the STF,  are basically the only moves he knows. With John, there's no build-up, it's almost like you want to scream when you see the inevtiable win coming. 
2) He's about to equal Ric Flair's championship title wins. I am sure many fans would wish he'd injury himself to a permanent state of retirement before this happens so the good name of Flair isn't sullied by this cartoon orangutan that looks like Orange is the New Troll. It's not that someone won't hold the titles the same, if not more times as Flair, but it should be somebody far more worthy than Cena, who is the main cause for most of the travesties that go on today, like the PG-rating. Yes, I know a public company can't go Atitude Era, and the whole concept of Ruthless Agression happened on his watch, but Cena has nearly sanitized the art of wrestling like Orwell sanitizes free-thought in 1984. 
3) Cena is a rather intelligent individual, and none of his smarts shows up in his stock, one-dimensional character. Even Triple H's character had more evolution (no pun intended) than Cena has! He went from rapper wannabe, to rapper wannabe that doesn't rap, and looks like that big kid on the playground that would steal your milk money, and push you off the swing, just so he didn't have to wait his turn. He's shown as this big baby that has to be on top, and yes, somebody has to be on top, but I lost all respect for Cena when he basically fucked over Rey Mysterio. 
    That man was put through a Royal Rnmble that only Shawn Michaels had ever come close to winning, and it was sold on us to believe that little guys like him can overcome. So we are led to believe the next night on Raw that "Super Cena" which isn't a positive term mind you, came in and defeated Rey like he was nothing? The man best 29 other men that were far more talented than Cena, he survived a beating that was supposed to sell as the worst ever given, and then this demigod comes in and in less than twenty minutes gets his precious title back! Ha, what a shame. Even Cena as a man should've made that follow-up sell better than it was, because that Royal Rumble was memorable, and Mysterio was superb, but it's just one of many travesties that Vince has done to his talent. 
    To me, Cena is the problem with the company, because it would be incredible if he had gone heel. Yes, he's therre to get kids asses in the seats, but he is to the majority of fans, a heel. Most women only like him for the obvious reasons, and most other adults like him because they're military, which I never quite understood. Yes, he comes out and sounds off about how much he appreciates the military, and their service, but that's sort of where the respect ends.  Either way, the point I'm trying to make is that the majority of adult fans see Cena as the problem.

 By-the-way, I'd like to just make an aside: I was listening to the Steve Austin Show, and how Wade Keller of PW Torch and Stone Cold were discussing the Gold Dust/R-Truth skits, and how they were runs he, immature, and didn't come off as something most fans would find "funny". I've a great deal of respect for Mr. Keller, and I feel,he's usually got his fingers on the pulse of the business, but I have to disagree with him on this one: Gold Dust and R-Truth's whole spiel that comes off as semi-homosexual is actually quite funny, because it goes back to almost pre-Attitude era humor. Granted it's a bit doggerl, but remember, Mae Young once gave birth to a hand on live television, so this was not nearly as far as the envelope could've been pushed. Also, I like the dialogue between the two of them, especially a legendary wrestler like Dustin Rhodes, and Ron Killings is really one of those guys that makes you laugh at the most absurd things. Love or hate the Little Jimmy concept, he sold it better than Fin Baylor sells that paint job. 
  Okay so back to the Cena bashing: which is itself just more fuel to the fire which is John Cena. I think they underplay just how much people despise Cena, and they go so-far to cover up the boos in newer promos, and even I will watch that and say: Wait! They covered up the boos, holy hell are they out-of-touch! Even the kids are booing him now! Ugh! Okay, let me elaborate a bit more on why Cena should essentially turn heel:
    He'd be the best damn heel ever! He would cheat, and use tactics that were underhanded, but he'd also be able to brutalize his opponents, the same way HHH did when he was a face. Also, I think his story resonates more as a heel, the whole hustle loyalty and respect ghetto slang concept would really make due Asa thuggish, brutish heel that would hold back the talent by cheating and manipulating his way to the top....kind of what he does now if you think about it, but it would be more transparent. 

To go back to Mr. Wade Keller, who has been a fan for a long time, as I have, I have been a fan since the days of hogan, and have studied the business back to when it was broken into territories. I respect a great deal of his opinions on the product, but I respect more-so his knowledge on the business, and he gets a lot of shit from wrestlers, but quite frankly he's one of the few non-business people that has a library of information, but we do differ on Cena as an important role in the WWE today. I feel Cena could leave tomorrow and the product would aptly be better for it, the weight is not entirely on the man's shoulders. If anything the locker room would breathe a sigh of relief. Granted, I don't wish Cena harm, but when people are upset more over the man's death being a hoax, that sort of tells you that maybe, just maybe, he isn't the beloved messiah he's cracked up to be. 

   Cena really is to my cup of tea, but he's also a nasty guy to a very lovely woman named Nicole Bella, and he's sort of a scumbag to even the children he's supposed to bring joy to by charging. I just think he sucks, and most people would agree with me that he's a pain to the brand. It's like a really good Bstman comic, and man is just about to overcome, but then douchebag Superman comes in to spoil the fun. Which reminds me: I'll be doing a review of Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice later this month. 

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